ATOP my soapbox perch, the view is quite remarkable.


From here I can see the worlds largest ‘goatsee’ (uh, warning: do not google xnsfw!!). With each hand helpfully provided by the conjoined twins, industry and government.  And through the centre march taxpayers stepping along in happy unison as someone working a loudspeaker pays homage to South Park’s world wide recorder concert.

The F-35 is more deadly for taxpayers than to its future enemies. For nearly half a trillion dollars paid for in big, fat American taxpayer dollars ,with a dusting of Loonies and Twoonies, the damn thing is a total shit show. It’s the most expensive weapon in history, already twice its proposed budget and gaining financial altitude at mach speed. It’s a plane the Pentagon dubs too big to fail. (I think I’ve heard that before? hmmm) After its half a century of projected service and development, it will cost over $1.5 trillion dollars. But that’s 50 years down the road. We’ll all be dead from global warming anyway! Fun!

Today the giant PR machine of Canada’s once impressive aerospace industry, (because saying weapons manufacturers doesn’t have a media friendly ring too it), came out with a pre-emptive strike of fear mongering. The Canadian Joint Industry Group, think of them as the aerial wing of the Harper government, is warning of the disastrous move a Justin Trudeau Liberal government would have on the industry. Justin says he’ll cancel our order of F-35’s. The special interest group say it could cost Canadians almost $700 million in ‘contracts’. Something the Pentagon was all, yeah, umm, no, you dumbass hosers. But who cares? Amirite!?  I would encourage you to read through the Canadian Press version of todays story. And please note the rather conspicuous absence of details, that miiiiiiight help put this wee bit of fear mongering into context. Which is my bigger point. Everything seems dire without context. Besides, it’s not like it’s Canada’s wine industry – those drunks do nearly $7 billion a year! Cheers!!

If you haven’t read it, check out the great reporting by David Axe about the F-35 test pilot who lost in a simulated dogfight to an older version of the F-16. Total bonkers! After all, we could just go out and buy the cheaper Chinese version (helpfully made with American technology) or the badass Russian one. We can even see it in action in Syria! I love airshows!!!



The F-35 is probably one of the greatest and most unappreciated cases of blatant US tax payer abuse in history. Up against the big bank bailouts and the trillion dollar invasion of Iraq. It’s a good contender for a top 3 (yeah!! podium finish!). While Canada’s piddly investments pale in comparison, we’re still getting hosed on a massive scale and will even more if it goes ahead.

$400 billion and counting, and it doesn’t fucking work like it should. If you can’t make a plane for half a trillion dollars that can out perform a so-called antiquated piece of hardware built in another century – well, shit, you deserve a string of beads and a hand job from Peter Minuit.

Besides, if you really want to invest in future technology that can wipe your enemies off the map,  even after we’re all dead from climate change, check out the next generation missiles. These suckers have such advanced A-I, they don’t even need humans to give it a target! All hail Skynet!!

*forehead smack*